Thoughts

You are reading this now because you have time. You have made the decision that there is enough time to do something unimportant, and this is it. It is a gamble that you take and I don’t blame you. Time is probably the most precious resource because unlike everything else. You can’t take it back. You can’t take control of time. You only manage time.

For most, time manages you.

Daydreaming used to be a major part of my childhood. I believe it’s where I consolidate my imagination which keeps me busy mentally. It is a safe space to let my thoughts project into a projection of my own creativity. It was an on-going, continuous, and free-roam type of thing (which I won’t specifically get into haha). I have all the time in the world. I am actually never “busy”.

I’m finally become the person I did not hope to be.

It is what it is.

The busy life of working young adults finally shows its effect. Seven days a week for her. Five days a week for me. And surely, we spent the weekends catching up on sleep and utilizing that little bit of leftover minutes to pursuit our happiness. I often caught myself scrolling through cats’ images. Somehow, seeing them and their randomness keeps me sane. Going through an endless of Facebook “feeds” has slowly becoming a second nature. Following internet celebrities faking their lives away. This habit is no way healthy. I am guilty of that.

So here I am writing away my incohesive thoughts; lacking central idea because I haven’t personally got a hold of you for a while. While it is nobody’s fault, I really do hope it gradually improves because being this far from you feel a lot further when there isn’t an active and constant conversation between us. It just work out so perfectly that your day ends as soon as I get out of work. And the next day begins.

I thought to myself.
Simply, there isn’t enough time…
But I’m wrong

So far, yet so close.
That’s what it is?

Distance

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นานเท่าไหร่แล้ว
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มีกันและกัน

เท

It was more than 20 days ago since the last blog entry.
It was mainly due to the fact that I’ve abandoned my little precious หมวย to focus my concentration on slaying the so called “dragon”, security plus certification by CompTIA.

Alas, it never affected her cuteness!

Throughout this intense period, she has been nothing but supportive, always has been. I don’t think anybody else would be able to stay this cute when accounting how often I have poured (เท) my baby. Every time when I feel like I’m tired and let down. Her presence that the fact that she will always be around me keeps me going, as I should.

ด้วยอีกนัยหนึ่งจะว่าไปแล้ว เราก็เทนางมานานแล้ว 555
ไม่รู้ว่าเค้าจำได้รึเปล่า เพราะนี่ก็ปีนึงพอดีที่เราได้รปกับบรรยากาศดีๆกับคนรป

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Yesteryear.
I don’t recall myself ever opening up to a person. I don’t recall myself exchanging my thoughts and ideas so freely. แต่ว่ารถตู้สายกทม-กาญ ทำให้เราเปลี่ยน she changed all that. Suddenly, I was not so alone anymore. Suddenly, I want to start something with someone. It was a weird feeling because before I get on that van I was not planning on taking care of anybody anytime soon. However, spending that little time with her instantly gets me thinking of days where I want to live happily with the comfort feelings of her presence. รูปของเราในวันพรุ่งนี้จากที่มีเราเพียงคนเดียว กลับมีเทออยู่ข้างๆ It was not me that fundamentally changed. It was the fact that I want you with me.

จากวันนั้น เราก็เหมือนกับว่ามีเป้าหมาย เราก็เทเทอมาตลอด แล้วก็จะเทต่อไปอีก 555 แต่ที่เทก็เพราะเรามองว่าเราต้องทำ (ทำอะไรสักอย่างแล้ว ~ เห้ยเดี๋ยวก่อนพี่ป้าง!) ขอบคุณนะที่คอยให้กำลังใจตลอด คอยอยู่ที่นี่เสมอเป็นแรงบรรดาลใจที่ทำให้เราทำอะไรบ้าบอ  ที่ทำแบบนี้ได้ก็เพราะหนูนั่นแหละ

As we grow and progress through our days separately together; undoubtedly there will be tough days but I with you here I promise we can endure anything.

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I wanna hold my แง่งขิง again ><

A New Chapter

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”

– William Shakespeare

It wasn’t until recently that I decide to become something. Deep down, I knew that I am capable. But a lack of motivation has always been one of my biggest obstacles. I will never be the best of my ability and stay true to my potential without you as a catalyze. It is difficult to believe that anyone can has this much influence on me.

I sparked anew.

I don’t know what has profoundly changed in me, but I know it has a lot to do with you. And I appreciate you for that.

In about 15 days, there is going to be a set of new challenges. For better or worse, I gladly welcome them with you by my side. It is going to be an end of an era, but also a beginning of another. This new beginning shall present new doors of opportunities. And with you, good time will be great and tough time will be easier.

We will grow stronger.

Are you ready?

A Runner’s Heart

“One kilometer to go.” 

The thighs are just not cooperating. Each steps are getting harder. The breathing pattern is now a big mess. I cannot control my breathing any longer. Inhales and exhales is now working against myself. I am soaked in my own sweat and the wind just seem to only blow against my direction. 

Sweats are running down along the side of mycheeks, legs are heavy, and breathing is becoming more and more difficult. I remind myself to maintain the form: chin up, eyes straight, upper body relaxed and natural. I’m running out of energy. The only thing that keep me forward is the will power. Every strides fuel my mental energy knowing that I am that much closer to the finish line. Imagining that you are running alongside me helps tremendously. 

Human are considered among the best distance runners among all running animals.The human bodies can endure long distance running. Here is my best kept secret, I used to hate running. I have never been a fan of long-distance running since high school. Although I like to think that I maintain a healthy lifestyle and is physically capable your average Americans. But running is just not my cup of tea. It requires a lot of stamina and most of all, mental strength.

It all changed five moths ago when I discovered that running is one of the favorite physical exercise that she enjoys. Did you know that she is a champion of a 10K running event? Here’s a picture to prove that:

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So I want to become a part of her through running. It was not that I stopped hating the concept of running, but it is more of my eager to connect with her. And I think it was worth it.Running becomes a second nature when I met her. Every week I actively fit running into my day to day schedule. I do this because, up until her, I did not have any reasons to run. It was a tough transition. One just does not pick of running and expect to be excellent. Although I struggled in the beginning, but eventually, it did get a bit easier. Maybe because my physical fitness is adapting to the process. However, I believe that the biggest contribution to my running success is her.

In medical terms, running improves aerobic fitness by increasing the activity of enzymes and hormones that stimulate the muscles and the heart to work more efficiently. In addition, running activities improves the cardio-respiratory system, (the heart, lungs and blood vessels).

Every time I crossed the finish line, I realized that I hate running less and less. In fact, I do enjoy running. It is healthy to run regularly, but that is not the reason I do it. I run because it connects and strengthens both yours and my heart. I am happy when I run; it reminds me of you. In my heart, I can feel your presence while running through the breeze. A runner’s heart.

Sleeping Beauty

I wasn’t planning on writing anything today.You see, my precious little cutie just went to sleep, leaving me alone with all these wonderful feelings. At time like this I am left with smiles and the need to tell her that I love her repeatedly. Expressing myself isn’t something a very good at but boy she got me trying my hardest to let her know how I feel. And surely, it isn’t enough and I know she understand that.

So I guess it was her that got me into this.

I feel like a little kid every time we take. With her, I can be myself and let go of any burdens. It is a perfect combination of relaxation and joy. Like a little boy, she take me back to the simpler times and reminds me of the nice little things that goes unnoticed. Most of the time, it got me talking silly events or habits that is completely random and lacking a real purpose. Yeah, I’m just a boy.

The world just stops and suddenly it is just us enjoying each other’s company. Laughing as if nothing else matters. Because the only that matter is us. It is usually her late night when we talk. An hour would go by quickly. It is unfortunate because I would be having the best time of my day at the expense of her not being able to get enough sleep for the morning. No matter how exhausted, being the nicest prettiest thing she is, she would always let me take her bedtime to early morning. Isn’t she just wonderful?

I think it is hard for anyone to impress me. I feel like I am the kind of person that is picky and hold a very high standard on things. Only a group of few selected people would manage to filter into my circle. But that’s not her. Everyday she gives me a reason to fall for her again and again. I don’t know how anyone can manage that. That is just impressive in and of itself. The most important thing is: I don’t think she even tried. It was just her being her amazing self.

I wasn’t really planning on going anywhere in this piece of writing. I believe it is because you are asleep and I’m by myself thinking about you. I am glad to have you in my life and I enjoy every moments with you. No matter what happen, just know that I cherish you.

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PS. can you believe it’s been five months since I had you in my arms? It is bittersweet but it also means that we are five months closer. I missed you and your kisses. That day will come soon my love.